"My Turf..."

Was listening to some music earlier tonite and had my headphones on, so didn't notice that my mom was waving at me, and motioning to me that the phone was ringing.
I picked up the phone, looked at the caller ID and noticed a Monmouth county area code... ex-girlfriend territory...
“Uh-oh... what now...?”

The man’s squeaky voice on the other end of the line asked...
“Is dis Eddie...?
“Uh... yeah...???” I said.
“Yooz got 24 hours, to take dat crap off da internet...
or you’ll have to deal wit me...”

Then he hung up.

I redialed the number from the caller ID, but unfortunately the punk was too chicken to pick up da phone.
So he did the equivalent of a “telephone drive-by”.
Chickenshit.

I don't scare easily...

Your doin' a good job there "hero"...
unfortunately your racing to da wrong burning building Slappy...
Try asking your new honey for some honesty.

I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t get ugly about all this,
and I still won’t really...
But c’mon...???

They say hindsight is always 20/20.
And in retrospect... I seem to remember going thru the same exact situation years ago, with the same ex-girlfriend...
only with me threatening her “ex-boyfriend”...
to stop emailing, calling & bothering my wonderful new “beloved”.
(or was she really "mine"... was he actually an "ex" yet...?)
Now thinking back, maybe she was just trying to "overlap the seams" of the two of us... "cover her tracks" cuz maybe she never really broke up with him originally.

Yep... dat hindsight is a bitch.
I was a magician, an illusionist, an ex-junkie/alcoholic, con-man, and bullshit artist extraordinaire when I wanted to be...
better that the best of ‘em.
I know horseshit when I hear it.
But unfortunately when it comes to matters of the heart...
if it's played too close to da vest...
the blinders always go up.
Things dat make ya go “Hmmm…???”... that sound strange,
you nix off as your sweetheart’s lil idiosyncrasies...
ya always miss 'em... second guess yourself...

I know I was fed a whole “bill of goods” concerning the whys & wherefores about why she was bailing out on this relationship, how long she was or wasn't dating da plumber, etc...
and I know her modus-operandi...
I know she’s prolly spoon-feeding a whole lotta shit to her friends, family and new “heros” about me, and why we split.
"Overlapping da seams"... covering her tracks...
It's called bailing out & cheating on your boyfriend sweetheart.
And ya know wut...?
Datz Ok.
I know my mistakes in our relationship,
and take responsibility for them.
And I know hers as well.
Unfortunately... she isn't taking responsibility for her part...
isn't being honest.
Which is truly sad.
But datz all on her now. She has to live with it.

So does he now.

(Mine & God’s lil joke...! Karma iz a muthafuka...!)

But yanno wut plumber boy...?
She was mine... before she was yours.
She was mine... while she began to be yours.
And that’s ok.

You win dood... enjoy your "prize".

Just a word of warning for ya...
the way I was warned by the boyfriend before me...
Just be careful, and be wise enough to question what doesn’t sound right.
Maybe I shoulda listened...? I dunno... maybe not...
I do cherish the last 7 yrs.
Wouldn't trade 'em back for the world.
And I do wish you both love & luck.

But this is MY TURF.

This is MY website, about MY joys... about MY loves...
about MY pain... and it's my way of easing it.
There’s no mention of full names, nothing slanderous, or anything untrue... no content that would hurt anyone...
just words to enlighten...
if you two are smart enough to hear the message.

It’s about ME... and MY life.

Sometimes with my being sick, going thru treatment, having my mom dying, being faced with even more of life crisis's coming down the pike...
And now losing the one person that I thought I could depend on in life... whom I thought would never leave my side...
always love me...

Sometimes I think it's just way too much pain for one person to have to bear alone.

But I'll get thru it.
And like they say...
If it don't kill ya... it makes you stronger...

Last I checked... I ain't dead yet...
Guess who's doin' push-ups...?

And as Alanis Morrissette sings..."You Learn".
(see song after this post...)

And even tho you may be with her now... she is still... my love.
And will always be to some degree or another... forever.

No matter how much she “bends the truth”...
or is a scared or confused little girl at times...
I will still love her.
For all her faults.
I can forgive her.

Let's see how long you can make that claim...

And I’ll talk to her, write her, post poems & song lyrics here for as ever long as she wants me to, or cares to read them...
And I know she's eating up all this whole soap opera over her as if it were Reese's Pieces...
lovin' all the conflict & drama over her... all the attention...
but still... I'll always be here for her... till the day I die.

Oh... and dat Hudson county number you dialed tonite...???
It’s also MY TURF...
MY HOUSE dere Skippy.
Dis ain’t da Jersey shore up here Chuck.
Your swimmin' in some dark water here son...

So before you go callin’ people, and sellin’ "woof tickets" about who had better do what in who’s house, on who’s turf...
makin' threats...
Ya had better get a grip there nephew...
School's out... smarten up.

You don't know me...
I’m ten years removed from the insanity of my past life...
But you don’t wanna see dat crazy ‘ol werewolf come out when he’s backed into a corner Sparky...

I’m a nice guy today, and wish the best for everyone.
Even you two.
And I mean that with all my heart.
Really.
Have babies and ride off into the sunset on your midlife crisis motorcycles & muscle cars...
(They're just a substitute for your little... oops... nevermind...!
Wasn't gonna go there... sorry...!)

I was trying to "live and let live", forget about everything,
put away the pain,
and move on with my life...
and in this web journal.
Other people seem to have a different agenda.
And now I'm getting threatening phone calls.

Next time... the two of you...
before you speak,
before you say things that aren't true,
before you act...
you'd better... Think.

And just don’t push me...
on MY TURF...


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[music link removed due to lack of space, and lack of interest in the parties involved.]

You Learn
Alanis Morrisette

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles...

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more that you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears...

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you´re gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend...

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn...